Melbourne Patron

I could make a pun here about how at 99 Problems  (31 Johnston Street, Collingwood), the bar ain't one, or something equally bad. But I won't. It's a bit overdone, don't you think? The odd thing, for a place with such a punchy name, is how understated it is. Not far from the corner of Smith and Johnston Streets, in the 'hood of the illustrious Tote, 99 Problems lies among an unassuming strip of Collingwood. There are lots of unusual places nearby - ranging from African, Czech and Greek food to quirky stores spruiking bicycles, retro eyewear, and mannequins - and although many are full or on their way, there is a quiet buzz about the area, as though a parade of hipsters has just passed through, leaving behind only the ultra-committed and genuinely non-caring cool. Hiding under an awning labelled with something else, it can be easy to overlook the brown-gold lettering on the window that identifies the bar. But once you know it's opposite Jim's Greek, i...

This bar reminds me a lot of Sydney. I realise to native Melburnians, that is no praise at all. BUT, it is really cool - actually a favourite of mine - and the only reason it reminds me of Sydney is because it is completely surrounded by water. There are so many bars in Sydney with water views - bugger it, so many of EVERYTHING with water views - that it becomes ingrained. I was so used to the space, the air, the freshness, and the movement of water, that no matter how many awesome laneway or rooftop or hidden Melbourne bars I visit, there is something in me that always breathes a sigh of relief when I sit waterfront, nestling a beverage. But Ponyfish Island (under the Yarra Pedestrian Footbridge, between Flinders Street Station and Southbank - enter via the stairs) is cool in many other ways, too. And when I say 'cool', I mean full-on, hipster-y, so-hot-right-now-even-though-it's-been-around-for-a-while, we-don't-serve-wine-in-wine-glasses cool. Here are some of t...

It was one of those places that became fashionable with hipsters before hipsters were even really a thing. But Bourke Street Bakery  (633 Bourke Street, Surry Hills) has apparently stood the test of time, consistently churning out great baked goods and coffee since 2004, expanding to four locations in all the hippest areas of Sydney. Being a coffee addict who needs at least one decent espresso-based coffee to start the day, my family try to mix it up for me every time I visit them in Sydney. We try all the local cafes, plus more, and naturally there are a few favourites. I hadn't been to Bourke Street Bakery before, but I'm pretty sure I'll be going back. We rocked up three days after Christmas and there was a queue. It's not unusual, apparently, but it was fine, because it moved quickly. Which unfortunately didn't give me a lot of time to peruse the baked items on display in the window. When I got to the front of the queue in the tiny shop, there al...

Birdman Eating (238 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy) is one of those places I've been to for coffee or walked past heaps of times, without ever thinking to try the food. My new housemate informs me whenever she goes there, the breakfast special that always sounds really good has sold out, and she ends up getting the next special, which never sounds as good but is usually still yummy. I'd attempted to go for brunch here recently but it was packed, so we'd relocated. This time, it was happening! In a hangover-induced, zombie-like caffeine mission, we trudged in and sat ourselves at the window. It was hot and noisy outside, so we tried to swap to one of the footpath tables when someone left, but it had already been allocated so we had to wait. Third time lucky, we finally got a table outside (such a mission!) and our Espresso Syndicate coffees arrived quickly. Our friend simply wanted a manly plate of eggs and bacon, something sadly missing from Birdman Eating's offerings. All...