Melbourne Patron

We arrived at Port Arthur after a ridiculously early flight to Hobart and a lovely, albeit windy and therefore attention-demanding, scenic drive along some Tasmanian coastline. (Get up-to-date here .) Despite being full, even the car park felt eerie, although I initially allowed that this might have been due to the wintery weather. All I really knew about Port Arthur is that it was a protected tourist site where a significant amount of people were killed during a massacre by a madman in the '90s. While this is true, it seems the Port Arthur Visitor Centre focuses - appropriately - on the site's original history as a convict settlement, now an 'open air museum' and Tasmania's top tourist attraction. The Port Arthur Historic Site Management Authority, which runs the joint, knows its popularity, too: innocent tourists (like us) drive there specifically, only to be whacked with exorbitant ticket prices, the cheapest of which is the Bronze pass at $35.00 per adult...

A few weeks ago, Melbourne was abuzz with talk of MONA Hobart 's major winter event, DARK MOFO . Sadly it is over now, but I hazard a guess that a good 50% of attendees were Victorian, being such avid lovers of culture and all. (CLEARLY arts and culture don't exist anywhere else in Australia. We're so CULTURIST.) Part of MOFO's publicity drive was a rather exciting competition  with QANTAS , offering $100,000 worth of free return flights to Hobart for the exhibition. All you had to do was enter your details and divulge what you were like after dark. Since "I am your worst nightmare" (ahem), it made total sense that I was a lucky recipient of flights. Housemate was happily rung in for Hobart-ing, and interstate trip was born. Can I just say, I totally understand the appeal of red-eye flights when you are buying your own, or want to have more time in your destination, or are doing a fly-in-fly-out day trip, or are an early riser (weirdo), but I never, EVER c...